If you are unhappy, stressed or living in fear, what will make your life become a happy reality is the willingness to want to be, feel and act differently. It is what we do with the willingness that will make the difference. Why is willingness a necessary component?
We put to you that willingness is a main ingredient for change. For instance, the end of a relationship, loss of a loved one or any transition, can feel dark and hopeless. In the darkness, a certain uneasiness or uncomfortable resistance begins to develop. Old beliefs about what and who we are and our worth often permeate our thoughts and add to the bleakness. However, there may come a time when you feel sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. The pain is just too uncomfortable to bare. For human beings, pain is the touchstone for change. Willingness is on the hope spectrum and all you need is a small amount of willingness for change to start and hope begins to be restored.
Our way of living up to this point and those very “things” (behaviours, beliefs, character defects and actions) that seemed to help us cope in our lives are probably the very things are holding us back and the biggest obstacle to change. These “things” help our brain, or our ego, reinforce and rationalize the same less desirable and, in some cases, bad behaviors or actions, creating a natural and sometimes unknowing defense against change. This is the biggest threat to willingness and what holds many people back from making a transition and from approaching what might be a high conflict situation with love and grace.
Most people will change only once forced. This forced situation or scenario typically (but not always) happens when things are bad. But what defines “bad”? Recognizing the bad is not necessarily something physical or tangible that we can point to (although our physical reality typically reflects it); it is the emotional state we are in. It is where we have had enough and our ego raises both hands, waves the white flag and surrenders. Suddenly, our broken self appears ready to do anything to change.
Our hope is that you don’t get to the place where you feel so broken to be willing to want to seek to find new and innovating ways to be and feel better. We don’t know what we don’t know and our best thinking sometimes works against us without us even knowing.
Willingness is an essential component to growth. Without willingness, we remain stagnant. Having an open mind, free of judgment, will assist you in your quest for living a better live and being a better you.
Are You Willing?
For more information about what tools you might use to explore this concept more, send us a note and we’ll fill ya in.